Thursday, January 3, 2013

#23 - It starts ..... again.

Today was the first day of the new dedication.   I still struggle but I can feel myself getting my determination back in line.  

-- We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road.
           -- C.S. Lewis

I weighed in today and found that I had lost about 0.8 of a pound.   This is both a victory and a frustration.   It is a victory because I had managed to finally get those dang numbers going the right direction again.   It was a result of a renewed vigor in working out as well as stringing together a  couple of decent days (calorically speaking).  

The frustration derives form a feeling of failed purpose.  I had managed to do very well for two days and then, last night, disaster.   I had difficulty sleeping and found myself munching on food that I didn't need.   I can't help but think what my weight loss might have been if I hadn't flaked out at the last minute.   Perhaps it wouldn't have been drastically different but in the long run, I would have felt more confident with that number if I hadn't given in to temptation a scant 8 hours before the weigh in.  

But I refuse to let it get me down.   I am basically pleased with my result this week, though it is minimal.   It is a move in the right direction.  It is the first move in the right direction in several months.   For this reason, it is a victory.

--  Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.
                 -- Brian Tracy

Marty has given us something to ponder.   Rather than setting goals based on the scale (which I have still done despite his advice), he wants us to focus on goals pertaining to giving our all.   Set a goal which states that you will push yourself to the limits.   Set a goal that you will be as diligent on your diet as is humanly possible.   Do what is necessary for success.   I like this mentality.  It focuses on good habits which will eventually lead to the numbers on the scale.  

That being said, I have a numbers goal.   46 lbs in two months.   This isn't going to be easy, but I want it.   And wanting it will drive me to push for it.   Why such an odd  number you ask?   I'm so happy you did.   If I can lose the 46 lbs in two months, I will have lost a total of 200 lbs.   This is huge for me.   It sets me up for future goals too.  The 250 lb mark.   After that, the under 300 lbs mark.   After that, who knows?   But this is my plan.  Parcel it out.   Lofty, but manageable goals like stepping stones will lead me to the ultimate goal of health and a new body.  

Why is this thinking different?   I've been lamenting at the length of the journey.   I've been extremely depressed about my recent backslide because of the "extra" work it causes me as I try to lose the weight I've put back on.   I've felt out of control and unmotivated.   But in typing that last paragraph, a sequence of events has shown me the possibilities.  Could I really be under 300 lbs by next New Years?   Absolutely!   That is incredible to realize.   It builds motivation to push hard and bear down.   If I managed another year even remotely close to my first year (a difficult if not nearly impossible task), I could be looking at a total loss of 300 lbs by 2014!  

My thoughts for the week:

Mostly positive.   I am focusing on correct practices.   Trying to limit my failings.   Spending time visualizing what I want.   Do I want a hamburger?   Or do I want to shed this weight?   Once I can envision some of the benefits of these goals, I can begin to identify and do the things I need to succeed.

--  Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control:  now.
         -- Denis Waitley

My goals:
Short Term:  

  • Food Journal Food Journal Food Journal.   Focus on the right foods.   
  • Deal with the inevitable hungers and cravings I will be suffering due to my recent bout of "free" living.   
  • Catalog those cravings to realize the damage I did to myself by going off the rails.   Perhaps it will help me stop when I start to do it again.   

Medium Term:

  • 46 pounds down in two months.   
  • Push myself in my Square One workouts to maximize the benefits of them.   
  • Fit in extra workouts at least three times a week.   
  • Spend time walking in the off times to get the benefit of even a moderate exercise.   
--  Set your goals high, and don't stop till you get there.
       -- Bo Jackson

Hope and Dream zone:
These are goals that are probably unreachable.   Or, at least, very aggressive.   Am I setting myself up for failure with these?   I don't think so.  I don't honestly believe I will make them.   They serve the purpose of pushing me to work even harder.   If time proves that I am making headway towards them, I will move them to the Medium Term goals as a reasonable option.

  • 106 lbs down by April 12th bringing me to that coveted new number of "2" at the beginning of my weight
  • Climb Flattop Mountain this summer
  • 146 lbs down by the holiday season bringing me to a total of 300 lbs lost thus perfectly positioning me for the toughest of seasons for the food addict.
  • Run a half Marathon in May of 2014
So this is a week of hope.   This is a week of dreaming.   This week, I can see the possibilities and I am allowing myself to believe they are possible.   Keeping this firmly in mind, I can begin to use it as fuel to drive my journey.   No, I don't want that fast food.  It will hold me back.   Get that excess food away from me!   It will prevent me from the excitement these goals will provide.   

--  Motivation is what gets you started.  Habit is what keeps you going.
    -- Jim Ryun

To all my Square One friends, this is my weekly realization.  I hope you all can adopt in your own way.   Identify what you want.   Long term wants.   What is it that can motivate you?   Do you want to fit in that dress?  Buy it now!   Hang it up on the Fridge.   Put a picture of it in your car.   Find something that will motivate you.  Evaluate it daily.

Then use it!   Why am I going to the club tonight?   Because I want to make the progress that will get me what I want!   Why am I not going to eat that thing I shouldn't?  Because it will keep me from what I want.   When you can do this, those tempting foods will be evil demons hell bent on ruining our lives.   And that will help us put them aside.   

It isn't easy.   But I intend to give it my very best.   

Good luck!   I will need it too.   I will let you know how it goes.  Please feel free to let me know your wants, goals and plans to get there.   This blog has shown me that it helps to share.  

Let's do it!   Together!

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