Tuesday, January 31, 2012

#16 - May I never see them again

-- The remarkable thing is that it is the crowded life that is most easily remembered. A life full of turns, achievements, disappointments, surprises, and crises is a life full of landmarks. The empty life has even its few details blurred and cannot be remembered with certainty.
-- Eric Hoffer

I like this quote. When I was depressed and rotting in my apartment, the days blurred into the monotony of a day to day existence which was, in essence, a lazy acceptance of a slow march towards (to be quite frank about it) death. Once you put yourself out there and DO something, you open yourself up to success and disappointment. But either will serve as a landmark to the moments of your life. Landmarks come in many shapes and sizes. And sizes are exactly what made a new landmark for me.

I never know what moments will grab my attention along this journey. It can be as simple as "that food didn't temp me ... wow" or as complex as the emotions and exploration of my self worth and growth. I don't always realize these things at the time events are happening. Many times it is in the quiet moments of reflection at the end of a day.

I really recommend this reflection time to anyone on this journey. It allows you the opportunity to look over the successes of the day and review the difficulties. You must make sure to find both for yourself each day. Do not be so happy as to not acknowledge some of your problems and definitely do not be so negative as to only see the bad in a day. There is always some of each. I like to take mental stock of the positives and enjoy them, but the most benefit I find in this process is the opportunity to re-frame my defeats and/or difficulties in my mind. I have learned that every negative moment on this journey usually has a positive to find within the midst of it. The problem is that we just get so caught up in the "downer" side of things that we can't see the forest for the trees. It doesn't matter how bad my day went, I can usually find something positive or, at the very least, remind myself of why I am doing this. I can give myself renewed strength and resolution for the next day if I spend some time reminding myself of where I was, where I am, and where I want to be.

-- Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.
-- Peter Drucker

Well, this brings me to the events of last Friday night. I was in bed thinking through my day when I was thunderstruck to realize that I had waltzed past a landmark moment without even realizing it. It is so easy to float past these moments without marking their significance. I am so I happy I didn't miss this one. It may be simple and plain, but for me it was meaningful and dramatic.

I was preparing to have a get together at my house for all my Square One pals. In doing so, I was straightening up a lot of the clutter in my life. I decided to organize my closet. I took out all the old clothes that are getting harder and harder to wear because they are ...... wait for it ..... too big!! This is quite literally the first time in my life that I cleaned out my closet to make room for SMALLER clothes! And I had done it without even thinking. All the size 58 pants, 9x shirts, and impressively large underpants are now being boxed up to be taken away. Make room for the 52 pants, 6x shirts and new undergarments. Still huge clothes, but a darn sight better than the old. AND, they are beginning to need replacement as well. Now, as I was about to drift off to sleep, it dawns on me that this was a momentous occasion and should be celebrated. So I sat up. Gave a little cheer (scared the cat to death). And then settled back to rest in the glow of this moment. Unfortunately, it is difficult to fall asleep with a little voice in your head going "woo hoo! .... yeeehaw! .... hot diggety dog!"

It is so easy to get caught up in the difficulties. I have spent many days worrying about the number on the scale or how many calories that I took in. I am just so happy to take these little "woo hoo" moments and use them to celebrate this journey while simultaneously giving me the motivation and courage to keep going. To draw from a previous post, let's all take a moment to enjoy the view of where we are. We are all successful merely for what we have already done, let alone for what we are doing. Measuring success by the chaotic movements of a scale is a ridiculous concept. Why would that matter? I know, I know ... It is a tangible, logical measure of our progress, but can't we also take in an understanding of how much better we feel and what more we can do? So much progress is made that has absolutely nothing to do with the scale. I'm not saying it is ok to pack on the pounds, but rather, I am pointing out that it isn't the end of the world if the scale isn't moving as you think it should. There are other important measures.

Keep it up folks. I am proof that it can happen. I may or may not be losing weight as fast as I would like, but my closet is cleaner and the Olivia Newton John shirts are going away. And that is pretty amazing to me.

-- Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.
-- Abraham Lincoln

No comments:

Post a Comment